Make an Explanation’s Relationships Clear
Revise pronouns and causal connectors to match supplied facts.
Supplied materials
- Original draft: “Luca sent Erin the notes because she missed the meeting, which made them clearer.” Supplied facts: Erin missed the meeting. Luca reorganized the notes into headings before sending them. The headings made the notes easier to follow; no other clarity cause is supplied.
- Paper and pencil; spoken responses are welcome.
Learn the idea
A revision should make relationships as clear as the facts. In the draft, she might refer to Luca or Erin, and which might refer to missing the meeting or sending notes. The supplied facts identify Erin as absent and headings as the reason the notes were easier to follow. Name those connections explicitly.
Use because only when the supplied relationship supports it, and split overloaded sentences when needed. A sentence about why notes were sent can be separate from one about why they were clearer. This revision improves logical structure as well as pronoun clarity. It must not invent that Erin asked for notes or that sending alone improved their wording.
- Underline she, which, and them in the draft.
- Match each supplied fact to an actor or object.
- Separate the reason for sending from the reason for clarity.
- Reread the revision to ensure headings, not absence, explain clarity.
See the method in action
Erin missed the meeting, so Luca sent her the notes. Before sending them, Luca organized the notes under headings, making them easier to follow. This names Erin and connects improved clarity to headings rather than to the missed meeting.
Check your reasoning
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See the answer and explanation
Luca organized the notes under headings, which made the notes easier to follow.
The supplied facts identify headings as the clarity cause. The other choices attach clarity to absence/sending or change who missed the meeting.
Take it further
Change the facts to “Luca added a numbered timeline rather than headings, and the timeline clarified event order.” Model revision: “Luca added a numbered timeline, which made the event order clearer.” Update both the editing method and its specific benefit.
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