Revise So the Reader Knows Who
Replace an ambiguous pronoun without changing the intended action.
Supplied materials
- Original draft: “Zoe gave Priya the folder after she checked the pages.” Author’s intended meaning, supplied for this exercise: Zoe checked the pages before giving the folder to Priya.
- Paper and pencil; spoken responses are welcome.
Learn the idea
A pronoun such as she can replace a person’s name, but its reference must be clear. In the draft, either Zoe or Priya could be the checker. Readers cannot settle the author’s intention from that sentence alone. For this exercise the intention is supplied, so revision can name Zoe as the checker.
Revision changes wording to help the reader understand, while preserving the intended meaning. Repeating a name is useful when avoiding confusion matters more than avoiding repetition. You can also split the sentence into two. After revising, check both who performed the action and when it happened; clarity should not accidentally reverse the order.
- Identify the two possible people referred to by she.
- Read the supplied intended meaning.
- Rewrite using Zoe as the checker or split the actions into sentences.
- Check that checking still happens before giving.
See the method in action
Zoe checked the pages. Then she gave the folder to Priya. The first sentence names the checker, and then preserves the event order.
Check your reasoning
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See the answer and explanation
After checking the pages, Zoe gave the folder to Priya.
The opening phrase refers to Zoe, the named subject, and checking precedes giving. The alternatives reverse roles/order or add unsupported information.
Take it further
Change the intended meaning to “Priya checked the pages before receiving the folder.” Model revision: “After Priya checked the pages, Zoe gave her the folder.” Naming Priya changes the checker clearly while keeping checking first.
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Check the subject sources
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