The Life Starter
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Course Library · Lesson 3 of 6
Life · Guided lesson

Make a specific, respectful ask

About 25 minutes
Work at your own pace. Optional videos take extra time.
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Before you begin

The idea in everyday life

Request help with context, a concrete action, timing, boundaries, and a genuine option to decline.

The idea

Clarity lowers the effort of saying yes and the pressure of saying no.

Try it

One step at a time.

Use the sample or information you have permission to use. Keep your work as you go. You can pause between steps.

  1. 1

    Choose an appropriate person and channel, briefly name the context, and ask for one specific action, amount of time, or introduction.

  2. 2

    State the timing and privacy level, make declining easy, and avoid demanding immediate emotional labor or an expert answer the person cannot provide.

  3. 3

    Accept yes, no, delay, or a smaller offer respectfully; confirm details, follow through, and express thanks without creating a debt.

Example

See how it works.

Drew asks, 'Could you review my résumé for fifteen minutes by Thursday? No problem if this week is full.'

Check your work

Did you cover these?

  • Your work includes three outreach scripts for listening, practical help, and advice or introduction plus one completed low-stakes ask and reflection.
  • Check this common mistake: Hinting repeatedly, sending an emergency-sized message without context, or treating a no as proof the person does not care.
  • Your request says what help you need and when, lets the person freely say no, fits what they can offer, and has a backup option.
Your work

What to finish

Three outreach scripts for listening, practical help, and advice or introduction plus one completed low-stakes ask and reflection.

Common mistake

Watch for this

Hinting repeatedly, sending an emergency-sized message without context, or treating a no as proof the person does not care.

How can I tell I understand it?

Your request says what help you need and when, lets the person freely say no, fits what they can offer, and has a backup option.

Try 3 questions

Quick knowledge check

Answer all 3 questions. Get at least 2 right and the lesson completes automatically.

Not yet passed

You’ll get an explanation for each answer. Signed in? Your results save to your account.

1Which step is part of “Make a specific, respectful ask”?
2What should you have made by the end of this lesson?
3Which mistake should you watch for in this lesson?
0 of 3 answeredApply the lesson to a short question, then review the explanation.
3
Finish this lesson

Pass the check. We’ll save the progress.

Answer all 3 questions above and get at least 2 right. You can review the explanations and try again.

Go to the knowledge check
Optional course overview video · same video as Lesson 1
TEDHow to Ask for Help — and Get a YesYouTube
Optional course overview

How to Ask for Help — and Get a Yes

From TED. Watch here or open it on YouTube .

Watch for an idea you can use in the practice below. You can pause or skip this optional overview.
Tools, templates, and lesson sources

Tools and templates

Tools open in a new tab so you can keep your place here.

Sources and further reading

Explore the references behind this lesson.

CDC — About social connectedness
CDC — Improving social connectedness
SAMHSA — Find support
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